You still don’t see yourself

Sometimes you cut yourself only to realize you can’t feel any pain.

Or to feel pain in a way that you are in control while other pains are others’ mistakes.

For seconds, you feel powerful. You feel incharged. You feel alive.

For minutes after, you feel like a complete loser. For pain last pretty damn short.

Should you cut again.
Should you.
Would you.

/

You wake up
In unfamiliar place.
You could not move but your eyes.

You don’t see anyone.
You can’t see yourself either.

You try to wrap your head with a multitude of conspiracy theory.
This does not look like a hospital.
This does not look like any of your friend’s house.
This does not feel like pain.

Maybe you did cut.

But you’re conscious.
Wth.

Maybe only your Soul.

You still don’t see yourself.

/